False alarm- uncensored

We had our 40 week appointment on Wednesday. The doctor gave us her standard response which usually includes awkward sensory words to describe my cervix like stretchy, soft and ripe. Baby's heart rate sounded good and I was still measuring 2 cm and 80% effaced. After listening to what sounded like the previous weeks updates, she then started to talk about being induced. I have such mixed feelings about being induced and although I am starting to feel desperate for this little guy to be born, I worry about induction. I am not excited about having my water artificially broke and wanted to avoid pitocin if possible because that can snowball into other issues. However, I don't want to birth a 10 lb baby and know that I am going to have to trust the doctors recommendations. Before leaving, I got a membrane sweep (cervix scraped) which is as uncomfortable as it sounds. The doctor said this can help induce labor and to expect a little cramping.

At about 1:00 a.m. Thursday morning, I woke up with contractions. They were stronger than the braxton hicks I had been getting but still not strong enough to call the doctor. I began timing the contractions and between 1-4 a.m. they averaged 40 seconds long and 8-10 minutes apart. Then around 4 a.m they slowed down and I slept a bit before waking up at 5:00 when I decided to walk on the treadmill. Everything I was reading was telling me to keep moving, walk and stretch. So I did and the contractions started up again. This on and off again pattern continued all morning. I finally called the nurse in the early afternoon and she was very helpful. She told me that I needed to rest, take a bath and conserve my energy because it was most likely going to be a long journey ahead. She sounded pretty confident that I would continue to progress and even had my charts sent over and said she would keep an eye out for me coming in later in the night.

So, I took a bath, rested and tried to just let my body tell me what to do. After dinner Dan and I watched another movie (we have seen so many movies lately) and during the 1 1/2 I had a few contractions. They were the kind that feel like bad menstrual pain that requires tylenol to focus but not the kind of contractions that send you to the hospital. I tried to explain that to Dan but just have no reference for helping him understand what this all feels like.

I feel been feeling a bit discouraged and frustrated so Dan and I talked about all the positives to keep things in perspective. I also read a few online "What to Expect" messages from the February message board. I haven't found this message board all that helpful in the past but this time it was really helpful to read about other moms having similar experiences. Some wrote about 2-3 days of this pattern or even going to the hospital and being sent home. They talked about feeling embarrassed for thinking it was "time" or bad for family and friends that are also pending on baby's arrival. If anything, reading other mom's testimonies reminded me that this whole experience is unpredictable, out of my control and unique to each mom.

I have put myself out of my comfort zone many times. I remember surrendering all control when I arrived at my tiny Peace Corps village with no established place to live, little Spanish and complete culture shock. I know that when I ventured down to get my MBA in Georgia, I had to again, allow myself time to adjust, surrender a little control and remind myself that it will all work out as is should. Perhaps this is just another test getting us ready for the unpredictability of parenthood. After all, I have never heard a mom say pregnancy, birth or parenthood was easy but they all do say it is worth it!

So, counting my blessings this morning and finding time to regroup, re-energize and relax.

Positives to focus on

• Pregnancy isn't a permanent condition and no matter what, he is coming out by next wednesday
• I am healthy
• Baby appears strong and healthy
• My body IS preparing and doing what is supposed to do before birth
• I have an incredible support system of family, friends and co-workers cheering for us 
• We are pregnant and get to be parents
• I get to meet Dan for lunch today (but that does mean getting out of my pjs)
• We might have another baby-free weekend and Dan sees this as a chance to paint the basement (not sure this is a positive in my mind)
• I get to rest and catch up on lost sleep