Peace Corps leaves Honduras

Over the last few days, my facebook inbox has been filling up with email chains about the suspected removal of Peace Corps from Honduras. Current volunteers serving in Honduras said that they were told they would be allowed to finish there service but now it appears they are being sent home or relocated as of January.

I can't put into words how sad this is for volunteers and the host country. Peace Corps has been sending volunteers to Honduras since 1963 and the 5,500 volunteers have countless projects and friendships with the people of Honduras. I feel a bit guilty that as Americans, we can just pick up and leave the unsafe "war zone" but my friends and past co-workers are trapped in the unsafe, jobless and impoverished country. 

When events like this take place, we all focus on the bad, the dangerous and the news worthy...but of course not all of Honduras is unsafe. For the most part, I felt very comfortable in my town and NEVER once was I robbed, attacked or even truly threatened within El Negrito. However, due to the nature of Peace Corps, I had to travel often for workshops, regional meetings and programming logistic. I also had to go to the nearest city  (2 hours away) every month to withdraw money to pay rent and buy groceries. It was usually during these travels that my heart-rate would go up and my general anxiety would increase. Consequently, during my 27 months in Honduras, I did see a lot of violence and probably more dead bodies than most Americans in a life time. 

I witnessed a brutal machete attack while taking refuge in a cheese store bathroom. I remember Max holding the door shut with all his might and the woman next to me kneeling by the toilet praying. After what felt like forever listening to the horrific and mysterious attack, we emerged from the bathroom to find the entire store covered in broken glass and blood. At the time, I thought the man probably had a gun and I was convinced we were also going to be kidnapped, shot or attacked. 

Baptism ceremony after losing a baby unbaptized 

Then of course there was the man that shot himself while twirling a gun outside the Internet cafe in my town. It was my 26th Birthday and I was just leaving the cafe after reading nice messages from home. I had my hand on the door and was only feet away from the man when he dropped his gun which bounced off the curb, went off and shot him in the leg. I switched into damage control mode and tried to cut off the blood flow by asking a stranger to remove his shirt and tie it around his leg between his heart and the wound. As the man went into shock, I thought for sure we would lose him but the nearby doctor was able to save him before he lost too much blood. SO many people in Honduras carried guns and my stomach would turn into knots every time I saw one.

The violence however didn't stop at the borders. When a group of us went to have a fish lunch in Panama, we witnessed a shooting just a few hundred feet away. I remember Molly yelling "get down" as we all hit the cement, threw some money at the waitress and ran to the car to evacuate the area as soon as possible. 

My girls youth group

Over the years, I can't even count the number of dead bodies I saw from car accidents, occasional shootings and random deaths. There were lots of stories of people getting attacked on buses and sometimes it felt like a game of Russian Roulette when traveling. Well, maybe thats an exaggeration but I can say that I felt like I was always pushing my luck. 

With all of that being said...I guess I am not surprised Peace Corps is leaving for now but I hope and pray the country improves soon so we can reenter the country. I will be thinking lots this Christmas of all the volunteers and Hondurans grieving the separation. 

Malnourished baby Darwin at the Nutrition Center

Peace Corps Tribute by Rachel Papernick

A Small Peace - Reflections on the Peace Corps from Rachel Papernick on Vimeo.

Christmas appetizer

My new favorite appetizer is veggie pizza using a Pillsbury crescent base with veggie dip, cauliflower, broccoli and carrot. I used a cookie cutter to make the design.

Fun, healthy and tasty!

MBA Graduate!

Tonight I took my very last grad school final- what a relief! I managed to stay calm and collected as I packed up my things but as soon as I got alone in my dark quite car- tears started streaming down my face. Tears of relief, exhaustion, joy, and pride. 

For me, grad school was a huge sacrifice that required me to move across the country leaving behind friends, family, familiarity and of course- Dan. When I began the grad school application process, my relationship was new and my independent and unattached inner-self led me to believe moving to Georgia for 2 years was a good idea. And it was a good idea- full scholarship with a stipend and an independent research fellowship working with the Guatemala Community Project. It sounded like a perfect fit. 

However, it wasn't long after I got here that my adventure turned into an incredible challenge that required me to reflect everyday on my intentions, purpose and inner strength. Luckily, my research work introduced me to some amazing people and my instant bond with Mandy eased some of my homesickness. She became my "person in case of an emergency" and someone I knew I could call if I needed to. I fell in love with her family and admired her intelligence, kindness, patience and ambitions. 

Then about half way into the program, my financial stress led me to a job with Big Peach Running Co., where I met a team of runners with inspirational goals and welcoming personalities. Work was fun and I enjoyed getting to know some truly wonderful individuals. They showed me new running routes in the woods, convinced me to do a night headlamp run (where Lauren got attacked by a bat) and motivated me to stay active. 

However, apart from work and my fellowship, I spent most of my free time studying. My accelerated MBA plans, non-business background and obsession with getting only "A"s meant I had very little social life.

Dan and I had to depend on Skype and multiple daily phone calls to keep us connected. Over the last 18 months we managed to fit in 13 visits (one meet up in the Bahamas and one trip to the Baltic)! The airport became a place of anxious unions and tearful goodbyes. After every visit, I started counting down until the next. His support, encouragement and patience through all of this is almost unreal. I have never known anyone so thoughtful, caring and lovable! 

And, what I lacked in a social life, I made up for in my exciting study abroad trips to Dubai and Guatemala! My 3 week trip to the rural highlands of Guatemala was definitely the highlight of my MBA and it was just the trip I needed to remind me why I wanted my MBA in the first place. It wasn't just about a better salary or more credentials but it was about gaining skills to improve non-profit/socially driven organizations. 

Yes, it’s been a roller-coaster these last 18 months! And even as I am writing this entry, trying to communicate how hard it was being down here alone, I realize how blessed and incredible this whole experience has been. Even with the holidays I spent away from family or the Friday nights I had to go out single...there were still positives that came out of it all. And, probably the most important lesson I learned from all this is that I do need family and friends. For awhile I thought I could be happy working internationally following the top development projects but now I know that my best work will be based in Minnesota because that really is where my heart is. Yes, the heartland may be cold and flat but it is where I am meant to be...

I will miss all the wonderful people I have met down here in Georgia.  I will miss running Kennesaw Mountain, the weather, the hospitality, the southern accent, the biscuits, the grits, and this list goes on...know that there is an open invitation in Minnesota if any of you southerners ever venture up north. We have the boundary waters and the TC marathon that should bring a few of you up some day. 

Now...back to packing. I will keep you posted on how the next chapter of my life begins.